"I see you've been cleaning."

All you prospective parents out there, consider yourself warned. It's not that mothers of busy little children don't clean, and hence, have dirty, cluttered houses. Quite to the contrary, we clean constantly. Toys on the floor, crumbs on the table, dishes in the sink, food across faces, stains on the clothes... don't even get me started on the diapers! And that's just the day-to-day (or more realistically, minute-to-minute) stuff.

But should one dare to attempt a more thorough cleaning project like, say, straightening a cupboard or scrubbing the bathtub, be prepared for your house to look ten times dirtier and more cluttered when you're done. Because according to Newton's Third Law of Childhood Behavior, for every organizational attempt on the parent's behalf, there will be an equal and opposite dis-organizational reaction on the child's behalf. (And be sure to multiply the disorganizational quotient by both the number of children in the home and the minutes they were left to their own devices for a true representation of the expected mess.) Because while you're tidying up, they are "entertaining" themselves. While you sanitize the bathroom, they dump the pieces of every puzzle in the middle of their bedroom floor for a puzzle piece stew. While you rub the jello stains out of your dining room rug, they play dress-up with the (used-to-be) folded basket of clothes at the end of your bed. Should you brave the living room dust bunnies, they will inevitably discover your secret stash of glitter, the permanent markers, and/or all of the toys you cleared out of their closet and slated for donation to the Salvation Army the last time they were gleefully distracted.

So, dear friends, the next time you arrive at a mother's home and her living room looks like mine, please, please withhold judgment. Simply take a large step over the blocks and side-step around the tupperware tower in the middle of the entryway, smile a kindly, knowing smile, and say, "I see you've been cleaning."

***photo submitted by Brittany 

Toys Toys Toys and More Toys

I have come to the conclusion that children’s toys are a blessing and a curse. On one hand, they keep my Lovebug entertained. On the other, they replicate like rabbits all over the floor, and cause me to curse under my breath when I step on them. Toys are not easy on the feet. I pick up toys one time a day, at night after the kids go to bed. Before, I found myself constantly picking up toys! So if you come to our house, expect toys on the floor. It maintains my sanity and allows for more play time with the kids!

What?!?! You are a stay at home mom????

No one would have ever thought I would become a stay at home mom. Heck I didn't even think I would be a stay at home mom myself. Just the thought of sitting at home all day doing nothing was not my idea as productive. Now that I am a mom I can't imagine leaving my child for hours at a daycare or with a sitter. Now once he gets to be school age , if I decide not to home school then will I return to the work force. That should make everyone who knows me personality pretty excited to know that my college degrees and certification titles aren't going to waste. And I have learned quickly that stay at home moms do not just sit at home all day. Taking care of my baby is a full time job and I am thrilled to be the one doing it. I have witness so many firsts that I probably wouldn't have seen if I was in the workplace.



One of my pet peeves as a Stay at home mom is that everyone thinks of me as a free babysitting services, and I am sure that a lot of other moms who choose to stay at home with their kids get the same treatment. Many folks feel that just because , we don't work outside the house, we sit around and do nothing , therefore we have all the time I the world an can handle watching your kids as well as our own. I am so sorry and I hate to sound rude but I didn't leave my high paying job to become a stay at home mother just for the heck of it, or because I didn't have anything else better to do. I did it because I wanted to raise my child without any outside influences. I am so sorry but I can not become your babysitter because as you see it , I don't work and therefore have the time to watch your kid. My day starts off like a normal work day, we get up, eat breakfast, play. Do some chores . And if I have to run any errands I would only prefer having my kid with me not anyone else's if I can help it.



Now in the other hand I get rude comments from folks who think that me staying at home is pretty much a waste of my college degrees and certification titles. I hear it constantly that I need to put my son in daycare and return to the workforce. They somehow feel that he is not being socialize enough. And that is so completely untrue, He attends Play dates, he goes to the church nursery during service. And when he sees other children , he never backs away as though he is shy but he runs towards them eagerly ready to play, I enjoy every moment that I spend with my little boy, watching him explore and learn about the world around him. I don't think that I wasted time going to college just to become a stay at home mom,

So You Attachment Parent????

Why do society look at those of us who attachment parent as though we have fallen off the back of a turnip truck? Why do they assume that our children's are running wild and out of control. I have serious issues when people question my reasonings for becoming an attachment parent and I am very outspoken and don't have any problems defending why I chose to attachment parent. A dear friend of mines made a valid point on why most folks don't quite understand attachment parents, this is what my friend "A" had to say:Older women simply don't understand attachment, because the research was just beginning to come out in their day and only psychologists knew about it; it wasn't in their baby books yet, so they followed the more early research on behaviorism which has, since, been found to be detrimental to the health of babies and their grown-up selves. If you'll notice, most people won't even use those tactics on dogs anymore. Our generation is different--we want peace, both in the world and in our famies, and we believe that both healthy relationships and world peace begin at the very beginning in the first "dyad" (smallest social group) or relationship pair--the mother/child.



For me as an attachment parent , everything comes so natural or I could say my motherly instincts come in to play. When my baby cries, I comfort him. I have learned all his cries so I will never let him simply just cry it out. I know when my baby is hungry, tired, agitated, or wet. I also feed on demand. I don't believe that it's okay for an infant to be out on a feeding schedule, they are babies and they have growth spurts so when I hear a hungry cry I don't say, hey I just Breastfed you one hour ago, I simply nurse him again, I believe my duty as his mother is to respond to his needs whether they are emotionally are physically, we also cosleep in my house . and it is so funny to me that my Lovebug when ready for a nap will come and get me and make me lay down with him, and I oblige him and do so until he falls asleep. I love comforting my baby to sleep whether it's through rocking , rubbing or just plain on cuddling. I noticed that our bond is so strong and I have faith that it will continue to stay strong , from talking with AP parents of older kids in their teens years, how the bond is still there and the kids feel so comfortable that they are able to talk with their parents about anything,